Alone

I felt something new today. The feeling of being completely alone. Completely. Alone. With nothing to hold onto. With no one to hold onto.

I thought I would feel helpless and despondent in this state. But instead felt a warm and strong feeling within me. It was surprising.

I feel like a cold bastard with not much faith in goodness and no respect for things I once revered. Goodness is over-rated. If selfishness was bad, then why do I feel so warm inside while yet feeling selfish?

Perhaps, being truly alone is my destiny. And all this time, I have just been trying to run away from my destiny. That is why maybe I have taken refuge in myriad fantasies.

I am .. ALONE .. completely alone .. but I think it is going to be okay. I just hope I can hold onto this feeling without guilt and without judging myself tomorrow.